these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
