im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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