It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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