This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
