I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
