I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
