I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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