Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
