im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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