Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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