I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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