He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
