we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
