I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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