Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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