shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
