I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
porn star boner night. come get it.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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