I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
