And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize