i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
