Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
