the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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