Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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