This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
