Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
