So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize