i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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