my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
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We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
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I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i believe in u and ur pee
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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