It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
