I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
