Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
