So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
