oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
