if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
