Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
