Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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