her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize