she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize