I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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