Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
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how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
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I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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