oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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