He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
