My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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