i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
