And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
