some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Acid is not a monday night drug
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
