It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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