please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
