Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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