yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
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I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
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This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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