Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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