He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Green mimosas i think yes
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
