I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
and you said cock pushups were impossible
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
