He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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