so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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