Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize