There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
