He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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