I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
